Learning

I am learning now
I wouldn't expect anything from you
But I will think what I'm can do for you
I'll try to say "Yes" if I can
But sometimes if I really don't want to do so
Please forgive me

p/s: don't complain my language again @.@



25.2.2009
6.46am

Apologize

Sorry if I hurt you
For the previous post I wrote
I'm really sorry, sorry.....
I've no intention to hurt you
If you feel get hurt
I'm really sorry
What you comment on it was right
I think I should improve too....




22.2.2009
8.54am

Clear out what you clear

I knew that he is not the one I want
I'm very clear on it
So
I thought that be friend will be a best situation for both of us

But
My friend was told me
Why don't clear out what you clear?
Ya
I think so
Although I knew he is not the one I want
But I cant ask for more
Since there is no perfect human in the world
Since I also knew myself that maybe I not the 1 he wants

So
Start from now
I should clear out now
Try now


p/s:
***try to be romantic a bit
***what a girl say is different from what a girl thinking
***don't tell me everything what you want to do for me
***otherwise I cant get surprise ^^
***every girl like surprise and romantic
***me also girl
***I like it too ^^



21.02.2009
8.40pm

Sad

I'm sad about my law mid-term marks
I'm only get passing mark
Maybe it's because I didn't put much effort on my study
And finally get such results
I feel wanna cry
I disappointed my family
Every time I say I wanna study
Finally fail to do so
Suddenly I scared....
If I can't study
What can I do?
I hope someone really can help me in my studies
Someone can teach me
Someone can control my studies
Like before......



20.02.2009
3.16pm

mOOdy

Feel moody for whole day
Don't know what I want
Don't even know what I'm thinking now
I'm scare of in relationship now
I'm scare I'll hurt others
I'm scare I'll betray someone I really loves
Thousand of things I'm scare for
But that's not all I need to scare for
And I just keep think much and much
Now even though the assignments due date are around the corner
Mid term test all are coming soon
But I'm still unable to play my role
I hope someone could actually take me out of this circle
And out of the jungle


I'm lost......



16.02.2009
7.28pm

Appreciate

Finally
Both of us thinking that
We may not be a suitable couple
But thanks a lot
You did many things for me
You try to give me surprise
But me don't appreciate it


For these few days
I felt that this world still have people concern, take care of me
Makes me feel that it's worth to live in this earth


Started the day of our relationship
I was thinking
"Are we suitable for each other?"
Finally
We not suitable
Maybe because I'm started too fast
Maybe because we not yet understand each other
Maybe because the feeling not so strong


**********************************************************
I doesn't care what will be your attitude or other things
But I most care is
FEELING
The feeling is everything for me
It's meant for me
Once the feeling gone
That's useless even though you done many many things for me

**********************************************************


You said I'm selfish
Ya
I admit it
I just wanted others do many many things for me
But I'm don't
I'm just keep receive receive and receive
But
I will try to change it
For my beloved


You said I'm brave
Why?
You say I'm not wasted our time
I just like: huh?
Ya arh?
I really didn't realized about this important point


Maybe I like you
Maybe I'm not
Just that time the environment allowed us to do so
I was influenced by the environment
But not the feeling inside my heart


But thanks also
You have created memories inside my mind
I'm really appreciate it
Thanks a lot~~



15.02.2009
10.53am

Valentine's Day

This year
I have received various types of chocolate from him
Maybe that's too much
Thus I distributed some of chocolate to my friends
Wish them have a nice Valentine's Day


We planned to go Mid Valley to celebrate Valentine
But maybe too tired
The plan changed accordingly
So finally
We doesn't go anywhere
Just went his house watch movie^^
This was first time I worn skirt
They say nice
I felt happy ^^


For dinner
He cooked maggie mee for me
Although is only maggie mee
But I think
He put a lot of effort to make it delicious
Thanks a lot


But unfortunately
We can't get in together also
Maybe came too fast
We can't satisfied with the changes of our relationship
From friend to boyfriend
It's very different
Maybe I still can't believe that myself stepped into 2nd relationship
I was wondering for few days
I believe him
Just I can't believe myself can stay my loyalty
I lost of confident
I'm feel sorry for you
Really sorry.......




15.02.2009
10.33pm

Accepted

Finally
I accepted
I'm no scare anymore
I let it be naturally
Let the situation decides our fate



10.02.2009
12.01am

Scare

Started from yesterday
I'm scare of something
Scare of in a relationship with others
Because his acts very obvious day by day
I don't know how to react
I wondering what I did before were right or wrong?
Is it my acts too over?


I went a trip with him
While the journey of the trip we just like a couple although we are not
But that's what I did!!
I'm accepted everything from his acts!!
I'm right?
or I'm wrong?


I don't even know I got feels with him or not
But the trip
From the trip
I think
I shouldn't accept
But I'm accepted
Should I regret?
Or not regret?
I think everything would be different if not went the trip with him......



09.02.2009
1.25pm

Habits

Don't know since when
All of these become my habits:
Share same spoon
Share same drinks
Let him treat me
Let him massage or help him massage
Let his hand put on my shoulder
Miss call him whether finished do something or woke up


Is it I treated him as friend
Or other else?



08.02.2009
11.00am

gOod

You looks better than before
You know how to take care yourself and your health as well
You've changed a lot
I'm glad that now you fully recovered
Now we got chit chat with each other
That's good
That's the situation I hope for
But thanks also
Because you treated me very good
Hope we can be friend forever



06.02.2009
6.25pm

The Progress of My Planning

All the things seem like going smoothly as planned
Average each day eat not exceeds than RM5
Sometimes one day only eat 1 time
Just the breakfast I can't treat it as my breakfast because I dislike the taste of oat
=.=''


I think only the budgeted expenses for Ball Night can't followed as planned
Thus I already transferred it from other expenses to cover it
XD


The next thing I would plan are the time of study and arrange the time to discuss assignment
It's due to for the next few weeks
We will face all lot of mid term test and assignment due date all are coming soon
This semester
Each of the subject has their own difficulties
So have to allocate the time of study for each subject
HOPE I really can do it (because I borrowed PTPTN loan)
I don't want to fail any subject



05.02.2009
9.10pm

mAyb3

The word "MAYBE"
Represents unlimited of chances
Chances that the things will be true
I be used to it since long time ago
So when people says "MAYBE"
I'm always hope that he or she promise me
Sometimes they're promised
Sometimes they're not


But from now
I really dislike the word "MAYBE"
Because it's really unpredictable
MAYBE
can be
50% true, 50% not true
50% can, 50% cannot
and etc..........


When I heard from my friend that we MAYBE can go ball night
(because all the tables were sold out before CNY and heard that will open few tables after CNY)
I felt down suddenly
Don't know why
Since I am so wanted to go the Ball Night (since Y2S1)
Then when I heard it
I really scare I can't go
Because when my friends heard that wouldn't have any tables available at all (Sungai Long Campus)
Then they are went to PJ campus to looking for the table because there still left some tables available
But students there not allowed my friends register table there
They only allowed us to register there if tables are available (the priority given to PJ campus students)


When I heard it
I really feel down although there is a MAYBE
But I wants CONFIRM
Cause I really lazy to guess
And don't want to guess anymore


I want


CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL
CONFIRM CAN GO BALL


not


MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL
MAYBE CAN GO BALL



05.02.2009
12.10am

Preparation for UTAR Ball Night

Today I went Sungai Wang with Ling and Phy
We went there because I planned to buy dinner dress asap
Because next few weeks will be busy for doing assignments and mid-term test
So I want finish to prepare all the things first
Then later no need rush to go here and there to buy all those things
Haha^^


Initially we planned to go Pudu to buy dinner dress
As she said
There got many beautiful dresses with reasonable price
But finally
Went to Sungai Wang also
Haih......


Firstly
When we reached Time Square
We have our lunch first
But as my planning stated that only can spend RM5 per day
Therefore I just eat white rice with sauces
Luckily phyphy "pity" me and she gave me a meat
I feel touch
T.T


After we took dinner
We shop at the Time Square as well
And bought bracelet
Which priced RM25.90
Haih...
No choice la
For Ball Night ma
Maybe once in a life time (except for my own wedding party XD)


Later on
We go Sungai Wang to looking for some dinner dresses
We step in to a shop
Ling and phy saw a white dress
They said the dress nice
And we took it and have a try
After I worn
They said the white dress suits me
Ask me buy
I feel wanna buy it
But I don't know how much the price
Thus I ask ling help me ask


Finally
The dress
Cost me RM201.90!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol
Because my budget was RM159.90
It's really really out of my budget
Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....


After think think think
Then I decided to buy the dress
Because the dress is designed by their own
Each design only for 2 pieces with different color
And the dress that i tried was the last
Yet it's really nice and is the design I looking for
Hehe^^


After looking for accessories needed for Ball Night
I spent more than RM300
T.T
My budget.........


















My budget not enough......
T.T


I spent almost RM500 for this Ball Night
And expected would reach RM550!!!!!


Maybe I will control the expenses
Cut down some expenses from other ways
*.*



03.02.2009
22.25pm

Unexpected

Today I attended a replacement for Company Law
I was expected that tutor will explain 1 question for whole tutorial
(cause last class the tutor taught 1 question for 1 and a half hour)


But
This replacement really out of expectation
The tutor teach even faster than last class -.-
I am not prepared the answer for tutorial 3
Because tutorial 3 will be my turn to present the answer
Oh my god!!!
This time really die~~


So
When the tutorial started
I was finding the answers for my question
Keep finding finding and finding
Until I got answers from the notes
And the whole tutorial I just find answer only


After my classmate presented their answers
Now is my turn
When I reading the question
From my voice already can know that I am panic
Of course
I no prepare the answers!
Aiya
Don't care la
Just do it la
Zzz...


But I was keep "ah, ah ,ah....emm, emm, emm...." when tutor ask me question
Then I just keep looking at the lecture notes and find out the answer
Luckily I still can handle
But
Before I finished the question
Don't know tutor ask me what
And I told him I haven prepared the answers
Luckily he didn't scold me
And the class was end earlier
And our class owe him 22 minutes
=.=


But after I back from outside and had my dinner
I start do my tutorial
I found out that the answers were totally same as the real answers
Zzzzz.....
Sien diao.....


Never mind la
Just repeat the same things only
Haha
^^


02.02.2009
22.53pm

fOod pLaNnInG

Start from tomorrow
All of my food planning would be:

Breakfast 7.35am Oat + Milo 3 in 1 / Honey
Lunch 3.30pm Food worth RM5 or less without drink
Dinner 7.00pm Yogurt
Before Sleep 11.30pm Hot Honey

I will let myself eat dinner once a week
Or eat maggie mee once or twice a week (only for lunch)
And will try to avoid from those high calories food
I will try to save money
I will not allowed myself to eat those "rubbish" foods again!!!
Hope all my planning will move smoothly
^^


01.02.2009
9.09pm

mIraCLes

Miracle
As explained in answers.com
is an event that appears inexplicable
by the laws of nature and
so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God:
“Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves”
(Katherine Anne Porter)


Human full of hope
Hope miracles will happen at their side
Unfortunately
Miracles doesn't happened
So human continue to hope
Hope that miracles will happen in one day
Finally miracles happened
But human are greedy
They just can't stop their unlimited of hope


I'm one of them
I said I wanna give up
But I still holding a hope
I hope miracles will happen at my side
But the miracle will not happen anymore
As he just treat me as a little sister
As he is in broken mode
As he don't want to think about it......


It's really hurts me
But no choice
Who ask me fall in love?
Just my heart too naughty that wanna fall in love
Fall in love with him
But he thanks me
Because I was the first girl told him about this


Miracles
Finally
Doesn't happened at my side


From now
I really die heart


DIE HEART


01.02.2009
10.11am